This Is Your Life
I think i will have a look back over my life…. But you dont care…
Noone does
I have done many things that I am not proud of.
I have done few things that I am.
If I believe in something, someone, it is one of the few things that I am proud of. If I fully believe in something it is worth more to me then my life.
I dont have many moments like that, that I am proud of.
Some things that Im not proud of….
* I chromed. I really dont like that I did that. What I dont like more is that fact that I liked it. It was a really bad time in my life. Everything was just going down hill. I was stoned all the time and when I didnt have any weed I was drunk from when I woke up to when I went to sleep. I went to school drunk more then once. I stayed up all night drinking and played footy the next day. I played one game on half an hours sleep, still drunk and hung over. I puked at every break and passed out when I finished.
* I cheated. I wish that I didnt. But I have cheated on every girlfriend that I have had except the onces that I truely loved. My second girlfriend I broke up with for my thrid and cheated on with my first. I was talking to her weeks before I broke up with my second. My third grilfriend, I cheated on with my fourth. My fourth I cheated on wiith some chick that I knew. My first and fifth I loved.
* I lied. I lied to so many people over the years. I have lied to friends, family, girlfriend…. I have told girlfriendsthings that werent true so they would love me. I have told friends things that were true so they would respect me. I have told family things that werent true so they would leave me alone.
* I manipulated. I have manipulated many people to get what I have wanted. Used my life as a bargining tool. Twisted people against each other to get my own way. Twisted family to get money.
* I stole. I have stolen so much. People, possestions, words, truths. Ive broken into a house to steal for my habbits. I hve broken into schools to steal for personal gain. I have broken into buisseness to steal for personall gain and to feed my habbits. I have stolen for friends and family. I have stolen out of love and out of hate.
But dispite all these things there are some things in my life that I have done that I have been proud of. There arent many. But the few things that i have done that i actually am proud of do exisit.
* I believed. I have believen people when I shouldnt have. Given then the benifit of the doubt, the chance to make up for what they had done before I cut them away. I shoudnt have done it sometimes. But I did any way just because i wanted to believe.
* I loved. I have loved. I belive it to be true. I have told people that I didnt love that I did. And people that I did that I didnt. But there were times that I got it right. I loved my first girlfriend. I truly did. I would have given my life for her. Dispite everything that she did to me (and true be told I did to her) she was and still is perfect in my eyes. She never changed. She was always the girl that I loved that first night under the stars. And she was that girl that I still loved walking out my door. My fifth girlfriend i loved as well. I felt something all those years ago. And I left it again that night under the stars. And I still loved her as se told me to walk out the door.
* I cared. I have cared about a few things in my life that were pure. I have cared when it counted. I have cared when it was needed. Not always but a few times I have gotten it right.
As you can see there is more good then bad. And I can accept that.
But before you judge me.
Look at your own list.
See anything the same?
