Bored As Shit
wow…. been a long time since i put anything on here. guess thats what you get when you dont have the internet….
well whats happened since last time i put something here…. hmm… shit it was when i moved into my new place… well thats going good. me and brend3n had the place to our selves for a few months. hard on the money.
then my mate Alic3 moved in from s3a lak3 and a couple of days after that a guy she shagged from a party moved in. jam3s. so yeah its been going pretty good. jam3s is a little anal with the place being clean and every second conversation he has is about how he wants to fix up the house…. and he doesnt really respect privacy much. like he will go into my room and do stuff while im going which pisses me off
i have a girlfriend now. i was shagging around alot before i went out with her. hit like 10 people while i was hittin her. but we went going out so my concious is clear. but i always came back to her in the end so i asked her out on new years nite a little while before the count down. done my very best not to do anything bad…
worst ive done is one nite while i was on x i hooked up with tahli, a goth girl that i know, but that wasnt really worth mentioning because its was just because i was pinging off my head… wasnt anything behind it. lol i cant even remember why it happened.
still waiting to join the army but i have to wait for da drugs to get out of my system… its hard because i get a good run without them… 3, 4 weeks then i get drunk or something and forget and smoke pot… then wake up and im like DAMN have to start again.
man my hair is gettin long. its kinda pissing me off because it curls… so im hoping that when it gets a little longer it will weigh its self straight…
i think i finally came to a personnal realisation…. this girl that i use to love… one that i missed for years. i use to get sad and lonely and depressed because i missed her.
i use to wish we were still together….
use to wish we could get back together….
but then i realised something.
i wasnt any longer in love with HER but the idea of her.
the time i was with her was just an all around good time.
i was 16, lived with my parents and even though they pissed me off i have free food and shelter. i had a great mate. i was gettin constant sex going out each weekend gettin pissed and stoned and didnt have to worry about it. i had no responisiblitlys no commitments nothing.
i was just partying and having fun.
and she represents that time in my life. she was there for all of it and she is who i assosiate it with.
but now time has changed. life moves on. hell if we were even to get together now nothing would be the same. she would have grown up moved no changed as have i. our ideals wouild be different to back then. out thoughts, our idea of fun…. our selves…
so i leave it as it is. i dont try any more. its like a time captusul. as long as i dont really sere her any more i still have that time in my head.
i still have that fun over again.
if i was to see her again and everything was different it would distroy my image…
and then what would i have??
